Can it be so good?
I so much hope so. What if I'm wrong? Then what? I have no where else to go. I will continue to believing he loves me, no matter what happens. I have no other choice. I refuse to believe he doesn't, because such a life would not be worth living.
All this to say I'm scared. Really. I want so much. I want it all to be true, and even more than I have hoped for. I'm taking a new risk today, believing he speaks to me and I can adequately hear him virtue of His own strength and faithfulness.
Uh...I don't think I could hinder his plans. Abraham veered, and yet God was faithful, and then he believed. So it is. I've seen Him be faithful, I believe. I'm scared, but I don't think that negates the faith that refuses to die within me. No, it definitely doesn't. I still believe although the possibility of having believed in a lie is a substantial fear. Not substantial enough to keep me from taking the risk and hoping for a greater deliverance and frankly, miracles.
He will do it all. I trust him and his words. God be with me now. Give me strength and faith to hope beyond hope that you will show yourself to the world. I'm so overwhelmed by my own weakness, and yet I hope for great, impossible things to be done by you through me. I long to be used by you.
Make me fearless and loving. Fill me with your truth and let me be overwhelmed by your power instead of my weakness. I long desperately for you, God. I want to touch you and feel you. I want to go and tell every person I meet about how faithful you are. I want to love them with out a fear. Please make it so. Let my eyes be opened to see things how they really are. Let my legs be healed so I can walk in your steps.
I"m counting on you God. Don't let me down. You're my only hope.