Can it be so good?
I so much hope so. What if I'm wrong? Then what? I have no where else to go. I will continue to believing he loves me, no matter what happens. I have no other choice. I refuse to believe he doesn't, because such a life would not be worth living.
All this to say I'm scared. Really. I want so much. I want it all to be true, and even more than I have hoped for. I'm taking a new risk today, believing he speaks to me and I can adequately hear him virtue of His own strength and faithfulness.
Uh...I don't think I could hinder his plans. Abraham veered, and yet God was faithful, and then he believed. So it is. I've seen Him be faithful, I believe. I'm scared, but I don't think that negates the faith that refuses to die within me. No, it definitely doesn't. I still believe although the possibility of having believed in a lie is a substantial fear. Not substantial enough to keep me from taking the risk and hoping for a greater deliverance and frankly, miracles.
He will do it all. I trust him and his words. God be with me now. Give me strength and faith to hope beyond hope that you will show yourself to the world. I'm so overwhelmed by my own weakness, and yet I hope for great, impossible things to be done by you through me. I long to be used by you.
Make me fearless and loving. Fill me with your truth and let me be overwhelmed by your power instead of my weakness. I long desperately for you, God. I want to touch you and feel you. I want to go and tell every person I meet about how faithful you are. I want to love them with out a fear. Please make it so. Let my eyes be opened to see things how they really are. Let my legs be healed so I can walk in your steps.
I"m counting on you God. Don't let me down. You're my only hope.
3.25.2010
3.05.2010
Here is Always
Everybody must read "The Singer" by Calvin Miller. Amazing.
I want to say something as straight forward as possible. God's presence is real and attainable. He makes life livable and all things are brought to submission under the peace he brings with him. Perfection that can't be marred by my failures, and yet still belongs to me. That is a gift.
Jesus is in me. God is in me. I can hear his voice and and sings his love to me, day after day. It sometimes seems too good to be true, but then he comes and sings again, and the doubt washes away and I am swept up in his gentle current of peace.
Sweet One, The Giver of my Life, I take freely, I owe everything to you. Stoke this burgeoning flicker to a blaze, I want to give the world the warmth you have shared. I will wait for your Spirit to move me to show what you have made me, all beautiful and new, full of infinity.
As you are here with me, the waiting is joyful, hardly waiting at all.
Thank you.
I want to say something as straight forward as possible. God's presence is real and attainable. He makes life livable and all things are brought to submission under the peace he brings with him. Perfection that can't be marred by my failures, and yet still belongs to me. That is a gift.
Jesus is in me. God is in me. I can hear his voice and and sings his love to me, day after day. It sometimes seems too good to be true, but then he comes and sings again, and the doubt washes away and I am swept up in his gentle current of peace.
Sweet One, The Giver of my Life, I take freely, I owe everything to you. Stoke this burgeoning flicker to a blaze, I want to give the world the warmth you have shared. I will wait for your Spirit to move me to show what you have made me, all beautiful and new, full of infinity.
As you are here with me, the waiting is joyful, hardly waiting at all.
Thank you.
3.02.2010
Carry Me
My legs are heavy. Steps have become precious. Now more than ever I know you're the life making the body move. I feel you every second. Each labored breath sighs a "please" and a "thank-you".
You told me today that you would never get tired of how needy I am, never get sick of me, never tell me you need a break from me for little while. You told me that I could never want more than you want to give me. You told me you'll never stop holding me, never stop listening to me, never stop talking to me.
You said you want to be with me every second of every day. You said you would never leave me.
Who else can tell me that? Nobody. I believe you because you are God.
I love you because you put the spirit of love inside me, your Spirit. I can't wait to learn to taste your life when I hunger for lesser things. I have had but a taste, and every delicious taste sheds light on the horizon revealing how much more of you there is to be had. Each time you fill me there grows a greater hunger for you.
To the people who would say this is all fairy-tale and delusion, I say such is life and I choose the happy fairy-tale, for the choice is ours to make.
To my hero of this fairy-tale, I say thank you with all that you given, and I pray that my requests and my praises be one and the same. True love, you are mine and I am yours.
You told me today that you would never get tired of how needy I am, never get sick of me, never tell me you need a break from me for little while. You told me that I could never want more than you want to give me. You told me you'll never stop holding me, never stop listening to me, never stop talking to me.
You said you want to be with me every second of every day. You said you would never leave me.
Who else can tell me that? Nobody. I believe you because you are God.
I love you because you put the spirit of love inside me, your Spirit. I can't wait to learn to taste your life when I hunger for lesser things. I have had but a taste, and every delicious taste sheds light on the horizon revealing how much more of you there is to be had. Each time you fill me there grows a greater hunger for you.
To the people who would say this is all fairy-tale and delusion, I say such is life and I choose the happy fairy-tale, for the choice is ours to make.
To my hero of this fairy-tale, I say thank you with all that you given, and I pray that my requests and my praises be one and the same. True love, you are mine and I am yours.
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