Vomit my words on to the page. Blech. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth and a mess to clean later, when I feel better.
People in my life...are they what I need or are they what drags me down?
I wish I could stop trying to find the root of the problem and just focus on the solution. I feel like the world at every turn says "Look over here! I've found the real problem!" drawing my eyes from the solution. The problem is the problem. I know what is good and bad inside of me. My heart still knows. Perhaps I will commit the greater atrocity in neglecting evil to sort itself.
Abuse would seem the greatest in violence, but I say the greater crime is neglect. Imagine the torment of the enemy ignored. God is never so cruel. Consider the abuse of the atheist, trying to build a mental frame devoid of God whilst borrowing His materials to do so. Imagine the child ignored, never knowing whether they are loved or hated, only knowing that they can't know.
Evil. If God is sovereign over all, evil must come to fruition in nothing. Nothing. Then the appropriate response to evil is not to attack it or ferret it out with fervorous vengeance, but simply ignore it's siren's song by searching for good.
Like a light dispels darkness, good dispels evil. But seeking out darkness to further the spread of light is like breaking dishes just for the sake of mending them. The work is finished! We don't need to go searching for wrongs to set right unless we are still unsure that good has been achieved already in it's fullest capacity for us.
A problem based approach to finding a solution means that we assume a evil is necessary for good. Does this mean that I don't think there are problems in the world? No. But I do think that the Solution, Jesus, is greater than the problem and will exist forever more after the problem is eradicated.
If there was a cure for cancer, and people started taking it they would be healed of their ailment. They would stop taking the medications that they needed to deal with the symptoms, they would stop having symptoms. If they didn't believe that they had been healed even though they had, they may keep taking the medications they previously needed for the symptoms and they would get sick again. So it is with us Christians, who have been administered the cure of Christ's death for our sin and his ressurrection for our lives. We don't believe that he has done all we need to be absolved of our guilt and enabled to live holy lives, so we continue to stab at the symptoms of lovelessness and treat our illness as though it is still reigning in our bodies.
"Be transformed by the renewing of your mind"
I am forgiven of every sin I have ever committed because Jesus died the death I should have. I am full of God's Spirit because Jesus lived the life I should have.
He traded with me. He lived the sacrificial life, sold out to the will of God. I get that. He gives it to me at all times. He died the death of a criminal, a murdering rapist, a thief, and a blasphemer. That's what I have to give. I gave him that. He showed God's glory in resilience, by bearing what I could not while at the same time giving me what I needed all along. And this did not spend him. Nothing could spend him. Like a celestial Energizer Bunny. That is glory. He gave the entire world the love they need without being spent. He is the best and he died for the worst. Could there really be any question whether Jesus was God? No one but God could have done that.
Since it was so miraculous that he did something so selfless, an act that I know by virtue of my own selfishness is really quite impossible, I choose also to trust that he could live inside me, make me perfect and capable of doing all that he has done. If Jesus could bear all the accusations and the punishment without fearing that it would be too much for him, then I will trust him. He saved the world by showing that good is greater than evil. No cosmic struggle, God is just the biggest dog in the park. He came to to demonstrate that Good wins. Always. None of our crimes can keep us from God unless we choose to believe the lie that has already been dispelled on the cross. Evil will not prevail. It is already crushed by Good. Don't wallow in the dust any more. Come be part of Good. We're all invited, and there is vacancy.
The table is set. Come and eat.